Return of the King, Jedi, Husband . . . how about Blogger
After a year or more of leave, it is time to announce the return of the blog. However, as you can see from above - the 'I' of this blog has now become a 'we' of this blog. Though the structure is not completely up and running, I invite you to follow our adventures here:
The steady hum of the air conditioner, the slightly tilted slight sway of the window shades, a few lone candles amidst the dark lit night sky of greater Boston and my long and lonesome, untouched blog. "To Tyler - I don't read much. So when I give a book away please read." You my friend will most surely recognize the setting to the left and were once again, right. The book is captivating and is striking chords long dead or until now, untouched. Perhaps we could walk together through the last few months...or take a stroll down random thought lane? A gander at the perplexities of the past, future, or unsolved issues of the cosmos of our lives? Maybe I'll just tell you about a girl (the basis of most movies, songs, and any great plays). If Helen of Troy's face launched a thousand ships than this girl's smile alone lights up the million and more twinkling stars in the night sky! She likewise recommended the Three Cups and it's amazing how two people can share such similar and yet different experiences, live in such proximity and yet be so far, get equally and separately touched and then become drawn together in such a mysterious, artistic, and miraculous way. You begin to wonder if someone elsewhere is pulling the strings...
The night is getting late...therefore, this remains a first post in a long drawn out saga of first posts in a long time. I cannot promise more to come but I can offer you a hope. I'm slowly in the process of creating a new blog and in that attempt you may yet have to wait for more posts. But, be hopeful, for what else do you have?
"The historical sense involves a perception, not only of the pastness of the past, but of its presence... Whoever has approved this idea of oder... will not find it preposterous that the past should be altered by the present as much as the present is directed by the past." -T.S. Eliot
"It is eighteen hundred years and more since Jesus Christ walked here on earth. But this is not an event like other events which, only when they are bygone, pass over into history, and then as events long bygone, pass over into forgetfulness. No, His presence here on earth never becomes a bygone event, and never becomes more and more bygone - in case faith is to be found on earth. And if not, then indeed at that very instant it is a long, long time since He lived. But so long as there is a believer, such a one must, in order to become such, have been, and as a believer must continue to be, just as contemporary with His presence on earth as were those [first] contemporaries." -Soren Kierkegaard
Look at the stars . . . Some of them have been extinguished for thousands of years, but their light is only reaching us now. The past is always influencing the present. I can't change that. All I can do is try to understand it.
If you were me, would I understand you?
"Lights will guide you home, and ignite your bones, and I will try to fix you."
Suffering is part of life. All around and within, my eyes see suffering. Poetry of countless ages speak of the griefs and scorns that man is heir to experience upon this earth. These wounds are both temporary and eternal. There will come a time though that we will look upon our wounds and they will no longer hurt. Until that day, the pains of our past, the miseries of our present, and the grief of what lies ahead is ours to bear...but not alone. The sadness comes not in the wounds and the suffering but in the myth that these sufferings are ours alone. This is an awful deceit and one that poisons man to his innermost core. We cannot explain why we must suffer and so we inevitably continue to ask, "Why?" but as Tim Keller says, "It can't be that he doesn't love us." I quote Aeschylus often but I've come to find comfort in these words that assuage my feelings of anger and injustice when I look upon my own pain or the suffering of others, whether they be innocent or whether they be quilty. "In our sleep, pain which cannot forget falls drop by drop upon the heart until, in our own despair, against our will, comes wisdom through the awful grace of God." Words are meaningful, presence is meaningful, and hope utmost is meaningful. "When power narrows the area of a man's heart," says Christofferson, "poetry reminds him of the richness and diversity of his existence. Where power corrupts - poetry cleanses." There is a richness hidden in the human heart that points towards something greater and cleanses him of the suffering and evil. The famous question, "Is everything sad going to come untrue?" The answer is yes and for as much as one suffers, the equalizing glory of all things made new will be exponentially greater in the new creation. I believe this begins with the power of words that only a heart can begin to sense. I've seen it in children most often but the same holds true no matter the heart's age.
As I look back there are wounds that time cannot mend. My heart has deep hurts but that story is mine to share...my suffering indeed is a blessing for others. If only I will look upon it as so. My wounds are very little. My cuts go only skin deep. Yet there are those out there who have wounds and scars that define them now. I feel that pain as much as I can. Truth in that feeling is harsh and it wounds us all. No man is an island. And where one man suffers, the ripples of that suffering will in time wound us all. However, just as one man suffering brings forth a common thread, so one man's suffering can over turn the suffering that is due for all time. For he is meant to suffer all that we are meant to suffer. He will know infinitely more suffering than our eternal suffering could even hint at. For indeed, even as a child thinks his suffering is the worst of all time, he learns in time that his suffering was very little. So we are, in the course of our lives, only children - by the awful Grace of God we shall never know more than a child suffers should we choose to let another take our place.
Where does that leave us...I'm haunted by the words in this video. I realize that suffering can breed more suffering. I realize that suffering can twist a heart into a deformed state of anger, and violence, and hatred. I realize that some wounds will forever make their mark. Yet, I also realize that amidst all this pain is a hope. That a lightness shines in the darkness and the darkness has not understood it. When I first heard these words about wounds that go too deep I fell into despair. However, I realized the glory as time passed. These wounds do take hold, they mark us. The marking though is up for us to decide. We all must decide how we shall be marked, which banner we will have over us, how we will live our lives. And so, as I am marked by wounds that go so deep and have taken hold...wounds that show me children beaten and enslaved, cold blood violence, even the smallest pain of losing a loved one who shares not the same love for me, I am reminded that I am marked. These wounds will forever shape my heart and my destiny. They for all time become my story. That story is one in which I choose how I am shaped - towards anger and a deformed soul or towards brokeness and a hope. A hope that my wounds can touch others. That my wounds will remind me of a hope in which the question, "Is everything sad going to come untrue?" is yes. Wounds that will go so deep that I will forever love others and the one who took suffering so that my suffering will be made good and will in time be but a dim light in the ever passing glory that is to come in the time without end. Perhaps it is indeed a fool's hope. It is my hope. It is your hope. It is our hope. It is our choice.
"They say of some temporal suffering, 'No future bliss can make up for it,' not knowing that Heaven, once attained, will work backwards and turn even that agony into a glory." -C.S. Lewis, The Great Divorce
Words are an injustice to my friend. How do you begin to use words to describe a life like Emma's? What phrase or term could relate the complexities, sacrifices, and love that surrounds her? Often, when taking pictures I run up against this dilemna. My camera is limited to such a small scope. The shot not only exceeds vastly up, down, left, and right but in terms of color and depth. Senses such as smell and memories or emotions are all lost. Capturing the sacred in a picture is much like capturing my friend in simple words, only those who have been there and know can even begin to relate. Hers is the life untamed. Hers is beyond the box so many of us find ourselves within. Even being around her I began to quickly realize that her passion and ability to live is life giving. The irony is in this life. The same life so many of us admire is the same life we quickly desire to hide, to box, to destroy for a host of reasons. But, Emma, her's is the life untamed. Boxes and ideas do not encompass her and I thank my friend for a day trip to New York. Though she things I went out of my way to see her... I would gladly do it again, and again, and again! I'm thankful that God has blessed my life with knowing a life like hers. Inspiration, unique, stunning - these words begin to show you a snapshot...but the best they can do is help you see through a foggy mirror to the beauty that is beyond. I'll miss you unitl we meet again! We left each other in the snowy rain, you back to your place and me on the bus...though we walked away, alone, you will never be alone. You will always be in my prayers.
"The neons too bright, The world's too fast, The cities at night, And the stores behind glass, The streets in the rain, And the field back home, They're never the same, So now I'm alone."
"My name is Dalton Russell. Pay strict attention to what I say because I choose my words carefully and I never repeat myself. I've told you my name: that's the Who. The Where could most readily be described as a prison cell. But there's a vast difference between being stuck in a tiny cell and being in prison. The What is easy: recently I planned and set in motion events to execute the perfect bank robbery. That's also the When. As for the Why: beyond the obvious financial motivation, it's exceedingly simple... because I can. Which leaves us only with the How; and therein, as the Bard would tell us, lies the rub. "
Movies are the ultimate story of our day. Movies are the background of my work time as well as a story. Above is a line from one of my favorite Sunday afternoon movies. Clive Owens plays this role brialliantly. Any villain must play a duo character (heroes get off a bit easier in this respect), they must be likeable and detestable both. I love to hate and I love to love this character, how can you not? Because you haven't seen it that's how! Near the end of the movie he makes a profound statement. The character says, "I'm no martyr. I did it for the money. But it's not worth much if you can't face yourself in the mirror. Respect is the ultimate currency. I was stealing from a man who traded his away for a few dollars. And then he tried to wash away his guilt. Drown it in a lifetime of good deeds and a sea of respectability. It almost worked, too. But inevitably, the further you run from your sins, the more exhausted you are when they catch up to you. And they do. Certain. It will not fail." There's a small phrase tucked in there that gives pause, "Respect is the ultimate currency." Sadly, it seems this remains a currency but a hidden one. Many of the students I teach have little account for this currency because it's not openly exchanged. Do you see much respecct when you watch televsion, listen to music, watch your favorite sports star drop dope? Probably not. Neither do my students. However, this lack of exchange doesn't mean it's not the ultimate currency. In fact, it is a currency, one of the most important. You either realize this now or you realize it later - either way, you'll realize it. But, in the lack of respect it's important to remember the currency of the Kingdom is grace, grace ever flowing.
What matters to one doesn't always matter to another. But, this late morning/early afternoon I am continuing to love a website that I fell in love with quite a while ago! I highly recommend Kuler if you're looking for solid, no pun intended, color themes. There's nothing better than having a week off from work to ... sadly get work done ... finish some personal art, listen to quality music, take in some awesome sun, and basically live it up!
p.s. Honda will accept my warranty request - if I wasn't over the mileage by 2,905 miles. "Well, Dang!" Word now from the wise, keep up to date on warranty information. Thank you Honda for hiding that as best you could.
Greetings all, Allow myself to introduce . . . myself. I am a 27 year old educator living in Boston. Before you is the story of an avid mac using, design minded, Chiefs cheering, introvert thinking, friend loving, story sharing disciple. Life is quite the journey and I'm passionate about sharing it with you. Enjoy your visit and hopefully our lives will connect one to another. Welcome to my story...